Note: These are author's personal reflections, re-posted from Facebook.
Sense of care and humanity!
When you find the most gracious are the ones facing the greatest challenges in their life, the most serving to others are the busiest in their time, the most generous are the most limited in their resources; you know that giving, sharing and being gracious isn’t a function of how much time or wealth or resource you have, but rather a function of how much sense of care and humanity you possess! (Posted on Facebook on April 05, 2014)
When you find the most gracious are the ones facing the greatest challenges in their life, the most serving to others are the busiest in their time, the most generous are the most limited in their resources; you know that giving, sharing and being gracious isn’t a function of how much time or wealth or resource you have, but rather a function of how much sense of care and humanity you possess! (Posted on Facebook on April 05, 2014)
Today is your “green day”, enjoy it!
Our days in this life are numbered and they go quickly. But many of these days in our life go fast without being fully appreciated or enjoyed. This is due to the fact that we think there is another “greener day” in the future. We are always waiting for today to go quickly so that the “greener day” comes. But when that perceived “greener day” comes, we discover it wasn’t as green as we thought, our eyes then turn to the next green day to come, in a cycle that never ends. It is common to see people saying: I can’t wait for the weekend, I can’t wait to go to university, to start a career, to be married, to retire, to…. Every day in this life is a green day; live it, enjoy it, thrive in it as it comes and as if it is your only remaining day in life! (Posted on Facebook on November 17, 2019)
Our days in this life are numbered and they go quickly. But many of these days in our life go fast without being fully appreciated or enjoyed. This is due to the fact that we think there is another “greener day” in the future. We are always waiting for today to go quickly so that the “greener day” comes. But when that perceived “greener day” comes, we discover it wasn’t as green as we thought, our eyes then turn to the next green day to come, in a cycle that never ends. It is common to see people saying: I can’t wait for the weekend, I can’t wait to go to university, to start a career, to be married, to retire, to…. Every day in this life is a green day; live it, enjoy it, thrive in it as it comes and as if it is your only remaining day in life! (Posted on Facebook on November 17, 2019)
You are not a “bad boy", but you could be!
You are not a bad boy. We all have our challenges, struggles and demons. You can still make a “U” turn. But you will be a “bad boy” the day you believe you are bad, the day you give up on yourself, the day you give in to the addictions and the bad choices you made, the day you become hostage to your past mistakes, the day you define yourself by others perception of who you are. As long as you believe in your self and keep trying, you are a good boy and will shine one day! (From a conversation with a youth. Posted on Facebook on February, 20, 2020)
You are not a bad boy. We all have our challenges, struggles and demons. You can still make a “U” turn. But you will be a “bad boy” the day you believe you are bad, the day you give up on yourself, the day you give in to the addictions and the bad choices you made, the day you become hostage to your past mistakes, the day you define yourself by others perception of who you are. As long as you believe in your self and keep trying, you are a good boy and will shine one day! (From a conversation with a youth. Posted on Facebook on February, 20, 2020)
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Just smart, or also lucky!
When we are successful, we tend to give greater credit to our personal “smartness” and we downplay the favourable circumstances that made us successful. The author of the book “Outliers” wisely, notes “the tallest oak in the forest is the tallest not just because it grew from the hardiest corn; it the tallest also because no other trees blocked its sunlight, the soil around it was deep and rich, no rabbit chewed through its bark as a sapling, and no lumberjack cut it down..”. Many in life might be as smart and hardworking as we are, but they fail because they were lacking the favourable circumstances we had. Be graceful for your success and never brag or look down at others! (Posted on Facebook on December 2, 2018)
When we are successful, we tend to give greater credit to our personal “smartness” and we downplay the favourable circumstances that made us successful. The author of the book “Outliers” wisely, notes “the tallest oak in the forest is the tallest not just because it grew from the hardiest corn; it the tallest also because no other trees blocked its sunlight, the soil around it was deep and rich, no rabbit chewed through its bark as a sapling, and no lumberjack cut it down..”. Many in life might be as smart and hardworking as we are, but they fail because they were lacking the favourable circumstances we had. Be graceful for your success and never brag or look down at others! (Posted on Facebook on December 2, 2018)
Respect is earned not demanded!
We often complain of being disrespected. But sometimes we cause others to disrespect us. How others treat us depends on how we conduct ourselves and how we treat them. A poet once said: “if you don’t honor yourself, others wouldn’t honor you”. An elder once said to a leader who was demanding for respect from his congregation: “Brother, you earn respect, you don’t demand it!”. Ask not: why people are not respecting me? But ask: What in my behavior is causing others not to respect me? That might open your eyes to the real causes. (Posted on Facebook on February 2, 2012)
We often complain of being disrespected. But sometimes we cause others to disrespect us. How others treat us depends on how we conduct ourselves and how we treat them. A poet once said: “if you don’t honor yourself, others wouldn’t honor you”. An elder once said to a leader who was demanding for respect from his congregation: “Brother, you earn respect, you don’t demand it!”. Ask not: why people are not respecting me? But ask: What in my behavior is causing others not to respect me? That might open your eyes to the real causes. (Posted on Facebook on February 2, 2012)
Parent’s best gift!
Parents strive to give the best to their children. Their most cherished dream is to see their children succeed and do well. Among all the things parents give to their children, the most useful is certainly the “values of success”. More than money, property, or investment, the “values of success” will empower children and secure them a better future. Money with “values of success” will be a plus, but void of that money could be cause for harm. With “values of success’, children can build on the assets they inherit; with “values of success”, they could start from the bottom and climb to the peak. “Values of success” are many, they include: strong ethics, deep spirituality, self-discipline, self-drive, self-confidence, diligence, hard work, sense of care, positive thinking, high ambitions, critical thinking, desire to learn and do better etc. Values are seeds that need to be cultivated early, nurtured, and reinforced through the years of growth and development. No parent, despite the best of their efforts, can guarantee the outcome of their efforts, but the chances of their children’s success will be better if they inculcate in them “values of success”! (Posted on Facebook on December 15, 2019)
Parents strive to give the best to their children. Their most cherished dream is to see their children succeed and do well. Among all the things parents give to their children, the most useful is certainly the “values of success”. More than money, property, or investment, the “values of success” will empower children and secure them a better future. Money with “values of success” will be a plus, but void of that money could be cause for harm. With “values of success’, children can build on the assets they inherit; with “values of success”, they could start from the bottom and climb to the peak. “Values of success” are many, they include: strong ethics, deep spirituality, self-discipline, self-drive, self-confidence, diligence, hard work, sense of care, positive thinking, high ambitions, critical thinking, desire to learn and do better etc. Values are seeds that need to be cultivated early, nurtured, and reinforced through the years of growth and development. No parent, despite the best of their efforts, can guarantee the outcome of their efforts, but the chances of their children’s success will be better if they inculcate in them “values of success”! (Posted on Facebook on December 15, 2019)
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I am sorry!
“I am sorry”, few words that are easy to utter, but difficult to say. Apologizing and taking responsibility for your own mistakes is difficult, it requires strong character, humbleness, and courage. Saying “I am sorry” isn’t only the right thing to do, but it is wise and clever. When we apologize, we get closure and we move forward. But when we fail to apologize for what we know is a mistake, we trap ourselves and prolong our struggle to justify and hide. No human is perfect. Dancing around our mistakes by denying it or justifying it by saying: “everyone does it”, “others do what is worse than this”, “why they are picking on me” …. or attacking those who point your mistakes to you, is self inflict dent on own character. Apologizing is not only ethically right, but it is also stress reliever, character builder and good will generator. When we fail to apologize, we spend our mental energy on defending the indefensible and we encourage our foes to dig further to find more dirt on us. ! (Posted on Facebook)
“I am sorry”, few words that are easy to utter, but difficult to say. Apologizing and taking responsibility for your own mistakes is difficult, it requires strong character, humbleness, and courage. Saying “I am sorry” isn’t only the right thing to do, but it is wise and clever. When we apologize, we get closure and we move forward. But when we fail to apologize for what we know is a mistake, we trap ourselves and prolong our struggle to justify and hide. No human is perfect. Dancing around our mistakes by denying it or justifying it by saying: “everyone does it”, “others do what is worse than this”, “why they are picking on me” …. or attacking those who point your mistakes to you, is self inflict dent on own character. Apologizing is not only ethically right, but it is also stress reliever, character builder and good will generator. When we fail to apologize, we spend our mental energy on defending the indefensible and we encourage our foes to dig further to find more dirt on us. ! (Posted on Facebook)
Angry? Frustrated? Time to retire!!
Meeting a project manager at work, I saw two maps on his wall. The first, a man on a bicycle with a smooth and straight road in front of him. The second, the same man on a bicycle with a bumpy and twisted road in front of him. The caption on the first map was: “The Plan”; on the second: “The Reality”. I jokingly asked the manager: does this apply to projects only or everything? He emphatically said: everything in life!
Planning is good, but nothing goes exactly as planned; be it personal or family or community life. It is common to see people expressing frustrations for not seeing their efforts bearing immediate fruits. Perhaps, they are looking at “The Plan” map but failing to see “The Realty” map. The fact of the matter is that life is full of bumps, holes, obstructions etc. The only way we can succeed is to deal with obstacles quickly without losing sight of our objectives or quitting. Retirement doesn’t happen at age of 65, but it happens when we become frustrated by the obstacles of life, we quit and withdraw! (Posted on Facebook September 22, 2015)
Meeting a project manager at work, I saw two maps on his wall. The first, a man on a bicycle with a smooth and straight road in front of him. The second, the same man on a bicycle with a bumpy and twisted road in front of him. The caption on the first map was: “The Plan”; on the second: “The Reality”. I jokingly asked the manager: does this apply to projects only or everything? He emphatically said: everything in life!
Planning is good, but nothing goes exactly as planned; be it personal or family or community life. It is common to see people expressing frustrations for not seeing their efforts bearing immediate fruits. Perhaps, they are looking at “The Plan” map but failing to see “The Realty” map. The fact of the matter is that life is full of bumps, holes, obstructions etc. The only way we can succeed is to deal with obstacles quickly without losing sight of our objectives or quitting. Retirement doesn’t happen at age of 65, but it happens when we become frustrated by the obstacles of life, we quit and withdraw! (Posted on Facebook September 22, 2015)
“Grey” colour blindness!
Between pure black and pure white there is a mix of the two: the grey colour; but many times, we see the white and black and fail to see the grey. In the world of ideas, concepts, issues, there are things that are clear white or black, but there are also many that are grey. When we fail to see the “grey” as “grey” and instead see it as either white or black, we become fanatical, rigid, shallow, and argumentative. As we grow, we acquire more knowledge, more experience, more insights, and deeper understanding of issues. This naturally, but not necessarily, should lead us to seeing things more clearly, understanding the complex nature of issues and realizing that not everything is necessarily black-white, but rather black-grey-white! (Posted on Facebook November 21, 2018)
Between pure black and pure white there is a mix of the two: the grey colour; but many times, we see the white and black and fail to see the grey. In the world of ideas, concepts, issues, there are things that are clear white or black, but there are also many that are grey. When we fail to see the “grey” as “grey” and instead see it as either white or black, we become fanatical, rigid, shallow, and argumentative. As we grow, we acquire more knowledge, more experience, more insights, and deeper understanding of issues. This naturally, but not necessarily, should lead us to seeing things more clearly, understanding the complex nature of issues and realizing that not everything is necessarily black-white, but rather black-grey-white! (Posted on Facebook November 21, 2018)
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Crossroads of life!
The risks of making a wrong turn or getting into a car accident increases at crossroads. Having a good roadmap, being diligent and focused helps minimize the risks associated. Our journey in life is similar to car driving. We come across many crossroads: age of puberty, graduation, new circle of friends, new job, more income, marriage, parenthood, illness, middle age, old age, retirement etc. When we go through these life crossroads, we risk losing our direction and making regrettable choices. Taking a pause, listening to wise counsel, and managing emotional impulses goes a long in keeping us safer and on the right course of life. Hasty and short-sighted choices take us off track and lead us into a delusional regrettable path!(Posted on Facebook August 13, 2020)
The risks of making a wrong turn or getting into a car accident increases at crossroads. Having a good roadmap, being diligent and focused helps minimize the risks associated. Our journey in life is similar to car driving. We come across many crossroads: age of puberty, graduation, new circle of friends, new job, more income, marriage, parenthood, illness, middle age, old age, retirement etc. When we go through these life crossroads, we risk losing our direction and making regrettable choices. Taking a pause, listening to wise counsel, and managing emotional impulses goes a long in keeping us safer and on the right course of life. Hasty and short-sighted choices take us off track and lead us into a delusional regrettable path!(Posted on Facebook August 13, 2020)
The easy and difficult choices!
- It is easy to talk, difficult to act
- It is easy to hate, difficult to love
- It is easy to be judgmental, difficult to be understanding
- It is easy to be vengeful, difficult to be forgiving
- It is easy to blame, difficult to take responsibility
- It is easy to criticize, difficult to provide alternatives
- It is easy to be rhetorical, difficult to be factual
- It is easy to withhold, difficult to give
- It is easy to say “I”, difficult to say “we”
- It is easy to be erratic, difficult to be consistent
- It is easy to start, difficult to persist
- It is easy to be regional, difficult to be universal
- It is easy to create a momentum, difficult to maintain it
- It is easy to gather information, difficult to decipher it (Posted on Facebook)
The doers, the spectators and the criticizers!
- The doers are the positive minded, the motivated, the risk takers, the initiators, the candle lighters, the talk less and the do more, the willing to sacrifice and the determined to achieve. They give and continue to give, no matter who says what and no matter who does what.
- The spectators are the indifferent, the wait and see, the doesn’t do good and doesn’t do bad, the risk averse and the stay safe.
- The criticizers are the negative minded, the questioners of motives, the doubters, the suspicious, the talk and do nothing, the fault seekers, the betting on failures, the blinded of the success and eye opened on the failures.
The right things to do!
- If you see some one who is more successful than you are, don’t envy them or despise them, but learn from their successes.
- If circumstances are not favorable, don’t sit and wait for favorable circumstances, but try to make the best of the circumstances in hand.
- If people you know and trust change course, don’t just follow them, make your assessment and make a principled choice.
- If some one criticizes you, don’t think on how to respond, but rather see if what they say has some validity.
- If some one provokes you, don’t just explode, but cool down and be in control of your emotions.
- If you fall down, don’t just weep and curse, but take a deep breath, learn from your mistakes and move forward. (Posted on Facebook on April 20, 2020)
Minimize your stresses and regrets!
- Act in accordance to principles, not whims or peer or social pressures.
- Open your ears to advice; it could be a gift that saves you from later regrets.
- Accept your mistake; apologize; don’t justify and dance around it, it may keep haunting you for the rest of your life.
- Work hard and smart but be prepared to graciously accept any outcome.
- Plan for the future, but don’t be worried about it.
- Enjoy every bit of today and don’t forsake it for an illusionary tomorrow that you don’t know how it will shape.
- Interact positively, carry no hatred, nor be preoccupied by what others say or do.
- Give, share, care and go beyond; be a living human rather than being a living body.
- Establish positive relationships today to cherish your memories tomorrow! (Facebook April 12, 2020)